Lady Luck, where are you?

I turned down a couple of interviews recently because of location and job category.  It's not that I am being picky but if I don't feel that those interviews are suitable for me, I don't see how I will like the job if I am offered the position later.  I don't want to end my current misery by putting myself into a new misery loop. 

However, I am also superstitiously fearing that my actions of turning down interviews is gonna set me up for failure in my job hunting mission. Why is it that I keep getting calls for interviews for positions which I don't want but I get no calls for jobs that I had applied for? It's really baffling...and frustrating, to say the least.  It's not like I'm aiming for the sky and the stars.

My friend assured me that this will only open up ample upcoming interview opportunities.  As much as I like to comfort myself with that thought, I am starting to worry about any possible karma back slash. I guess the sensible thing to do now is to stay calm and not get overly stressed, and hopefully something positive will out come of all the dramas and stress that I had to endure of late.

Workouts have become a part of life

2 more months to enjoy gym and then it's decision time.  Honest be told, I'm not ready to give it up yet but I don't see what other choice I have.  Every cut is crucial to survival.  I guess that means I will have to make the most out of my workouts while I still have access to classes.  Learn and absorb as much as possible because every minute counts from now on. Golden opportunity, precious classes. Tolerate every muscle burn and body aches.  Appreciate that....

Just minding my own business

January started off full of rants......so, what the hell, might as well continue riding on the bandwagon.
 
I think I've reached a point in my life where I don't care about anything else aside from my own wellbeing.  Label me selfish, label me self centered, label me unfriendly, whatever.....either way, I couldn't really care less about others' perception. 

These days I'm no longer as initiative at work as I once was, I no longer care about people's feelings, I no longer care if I have no friends, I no longer care if somebody hates me and I certainly couldn't care less what is happening around me.  In short, I'm simply minding my business.  All I care about is me, what is happening to me and what is going to happen to me.  I am done trying to understand people's feelings or wondering if I have done enough to help whomever or feeling the guilt whenever I think I've not done the right thing.  I'm not perfect but I believe I have done my fair share of righteousness and I have endured a fair share of punishments for sins.  I have tried, that is all I can say. 

The truth of the matter is, once upon a time, I care.  But being caring, being supportive, being helpful, being nice did nothing for me in return.  Instead I'm constantly on the receiving end of stress, pressures, woes, misunderstandings, frustrations.  Is it worth it? 

Of late, I just want to crawl and hide in a cave, but really, that's not a good way to live life. Yes, it is indeed true that I can either make things better for myself or I can continue living in misery. I do not have any magic wand or special mantra to make all my woes go away but if I have to stop caring in order to make my situation bearable, then that is what I will do....and that is what I am doing.  I'm minding my own business.