Just minding my own business

January started off full of rants......so, what the hell, might as well continue riding on the bandwagon.
 
I think I've reached a point in my life where I don't care about anything else aside from my own wellbeing.  Label me selfish, label me self centered, label me unfriendly, whatever.....either way, I couldn't really care less about others' perception. 

These days I'm no longer as initiative at work as I once was, I no longer care about people's feelings, I no longer care if I have no friends, I no longer care if somebody hates me and I certainly couldn't care less what is happening around me.  In short, I'm simply minding my business.  All I care about is me, what is happening to me and what is going to happen to me.  I am done trying to understand people's feelings or wondering if I have done enough to help whomever or feeling the guilt whenever I think I've not done the right thing.  I'm not perfect but I believe I have done my fair share of righteousness and I have endured a fair share of punishments for sins.  I have tried, that is all I can say. 

The truth of the matter is, once upon a time, I care.  But being caring, being supportive, being helpful, being nice did nothing for me in return.  Instead I'm constantly on the receiving end of stress, pressures, woes, misunderstandings, frustrations.  Is it worth it? 

Of late, I just want to crawl and hide in a cave, but really, that's not a good way to live life. Yes, it is indeed true that I can either make things better for myself or I can continue living in misery. I do not have any magic wand or special mantra to make all my woes go away but if I have to stop caring in order to make my situation bearable, then that is what I will do....and that is what I am doing.  I'm minding my own business.